Thursday, April 5, 2018

Eggs of the Apocalypse

Eggs are a food many of us take for granted and which many of us don't know a whole lot about.

The most commonly consumed egg in America is from the chicken. Did you know that you don't need roosters to get your hens to lay eggs? That's fairly handy. 

Even handier is the fact that eggs don't need to be refrigerated. Unless you obsessively clean them, stripping away the eggs natural ability to remain salmonella-free. This is particularly handy now as it was during pioneer times, if you happen to be in an area that doesn't have electricity or refrigerators. But what do you do when disaster strikes and the power is going to be out for days or weeks?

Eggs are an excellent source of protein. While you could scramble up all the eggs you've got on day 1 of the apocalypse, a better course of action might be to ration your meager supply for a few days, eating them as needed. 

Of course, eating scrambled eggs every day, every meal (before they go bad) might not be appealing to some, no matter how much canned bacon or bacon spam you have on hand to accompany this breakfasty treat. 

Assuming you're not a fan of scrambled eggs, just how many ways are there to consume these precious spheroids of protein in the apocalypse?

1. Omelettes
Combining eggs and cheese (probably individual packets of velveeta which don't need refrigeration until opened) is an excellent treat to arm your hard-sheltered heart. Add in some meat or vegetables if you want. 

2. Scrambled Omelette
If you aren't capable of making a decent omelette, just mix up all your ingredients into what is basically scrambled eggs--but with extra bits. 

3. Overeasy, Sunnyside Up
Not my thing, but millions of people can't be too wrong. These alternatives to scrambled are enjoyed with toast--which you had better eat up quick in those first few days, before your bread all goes bad. 

4. Boiled
The least sensible way of cooking an egg in the apocalypse, boiling an egg will waste a significant amount of your potable water. But who doesn't like a boiled egg?

5. Deviled eggs
Maybe it was springtime when the apocalypse hit and now you're spending Eater below ground. To liven things up, boil your eggs, then cut them in half, Scoop out the yokes, grind them up and add mustard and Miracle Whip and a fair amount of Tobasco sauce to mix up a creamy deviled egg filling. Garnish with some paprika and you've just added a little zing to the Zombiegeddon. 

Finally, if you just can't face the idea of an apocalypse without eggs, and are worried you'll be out when you flee into the shelter, there are always powdered eggs. Significantly more expensive than regular eggs, powdered eggs keep a lot longer and can be used to make scrambled eggs, omelettes or even in recipes. While not a supermarket staple, they can be ordered online

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